At the moment I’m riding a delayed flight from LAX back to Houston to hopefully pick up my car and maneuver myself back to San Antonio through the flooded highways. At the same time, it’s important to note that as it stands we’re also roughly 16 Hours away from the release of our label debut ‘Works Of Progress’ and about a week away from our first tour in Europe. All exciting stuff right?
Well as cool as it all may be and sound, you might think I’m crazy to admit I’m not thinking about any of that in this moment. Yeah, that’s right none of it.
I’ll be real with you I almost feel guilty in a way, I know the significance of all this great stuff and how rare things like these happen to people like me & I definitely know we’ve worked a long way to get here but I still can’t help but feel a little undeserving. I know, I know this sounds a lot like humble brag but seriously the whole sentiment of all this awesome stuff coming my way hasn’t necessarily satisfied me in the way that I expected or that it should.
Bare with me here before you storm off about how ungrateful or naïve I might be sounding right now but honestly the thing that’s been dominating my thoughts the last week, the thing that’s been weighing me down in bringing me the most excitement/anxiety combined is the people.
The people that have sacrificed, invested, believed & busted their asses just so I could be here. You see, I recently came to the realization of something I probably already knew but didn’t necessarily accept until my visit out to LA…
The times that I’m happiest are the times I’m able to impact someone else life for the better.
In the band that means booking our tours and growing our brand, in my relationship that means taking my girlfriend to new places, as a son that means giving my parents something I hope they can be proud of me for.
Oddly enough its been particularly strange for me over the last year or so because I feel like now more than ever I’m taking more than I’m giving in the grand scheme of things. A lot of awesome stuff has been happening to me since the signing. It’s always about “SO I can succeed”, “SO I can put out a great album” “SO I can have this status of luxury but never about the people who are putting me in this position.
I can’t help but feel grimey about it. I know this is probably me feeding into the melodramatic emotional dude I am but it just feels unwarranted. In all honesty the more I think of the things I’m proudest of, the more I realize that my own personal responsibility in those things isn’t all that significant.
Let me elaborate:
- I’ve only been fortunate to of had a great life and education because of my parents.
- I have only had a constant drive to always try and better myself because of my girlfriend.
- I’m only in a successful band because of the guys. The tech IQ and awareness of Jason, the work ethic and dedication of Cody, the musicianship and skill of Julio, the drop of the hat willingness of Jayy. All of that stuff is major.
- Let’s take this a step further and say we’ve really just been able to write quality professional music because of the craftsmanship of Wade & the guidance of Shapiro.
- It’s also important to note we only have this opportunity to release an album worldwide because of the passion of Markus coupled with the determination of Shawn and the work ethic of Sal. And that in and of itself is modest, not even mentioning the roles and significance of the entire staff spanning multiple countries…
The point I’m trying to make is that, contrary to popular belief it’s no coincidence that I got here. Look at the people around me, look at the work they’ve put in. It was never me, it was them… It is them.
That’s why as all these accolades and milestones start coming my way I can’t shake that bitter sweet feeling… It’s nice to be recognized and it’s cool to be the dude in front of the camera but you got the wrong guy!
Those people are the ones who should be praised. The people who believe in me, the people who constantly put themselves second so that I can prosper. The ones that are constantly grinding there asses of solely for the benefit of something other than themselves. The true unsung heroes.
I haven’t written much in here recently because quite honestly I’ve been shook. Ive been asking myself at times recently if I’m doing the best job I can? If somehow I am letting these people down by getting a little to comfortable or enjoying my poisition just a little to much?
I don’t think most people understand just how much has been invested in my success, or just much has been sacrificed for the opportunity.
It’s sometimes daunting to think that I could fall short.
I wanna be the guy that always does right by everyone.
With the internal clock of the album release ticking down from months to weeks to days and now hours, I just hope that sentiment can ring true.
If there is one thing I wanna say before Works Of Progress comes out, it’s thank you.
All of you.
Even you reading this right now.
There’s been countless people who have attributed to this single moment and I just hope you can share in the pride and glory of tomorrow just as much as I can, because honestly you deserve it.
I don’t know how it will be received or how many units it’ll sale but my only hope for this album remains the same as it’s always been.
I hope it inspires you.
I want to make it publicly known that aside from life in my band I hope to one day make a living out of helping other people conquer the once thought impossible.
I’m really interested in both the PR & A&R sides of the music business and I hope to one day pay forward even a portion of all that has been done for me.
Thanks for the read, see you in Europe.